The idea of seeking out a sex partner who is not our type, far and away different than any person we have ever known is a wildly attractive concept for some single people. But do opposites really attract, does the unknown really represent mystery that can be turned into something sexy? When do our pursuits become too opposite, too unusual, too exotic; foreign simply to be foreign to our experience? When will a contrary world-view, a clash of cultures, a simple thick and impossible language barrier become a burden? Does that someone we have never encountered, only maybe fantasized over represent an intrinsic spark to a prurient interest that is intriguing, or off-putting? Can we really make a go of it when we encounter someone so different?
We see a chasm of different between east and west cultures and Asian sex-whatever that term really means-does at times represent intriguing tendrils to the west as does western sexual culture send prompts across the world to the men and women who are interested in a contrary view point and way of life, even physical characteristics of possible partners totally unlike them. The contrary intrigue of people not like us is why at one time hot asian porn was so enticing, especially at a time when many cultures viewed that kind of coupling as verboten. Nowadays, as most adult daters surmount the prejudices of skin color what we really have left to intrigue us oppositely is customs and mores and there are none more opposite then those between the west and the east.
This is why Asian sex does have a place in western culture as fantasized and sometimes fetishized ideal as much as why often time American porn does so well in the east. It is the idea of the unknown, the unfamiliar and in some ways opposites attracting when we all know that even though we might look drastically different then someone, or speak a different language from them, we all want, enjoy and fantasize about our sex, Asian or any other, pretty much the same way.
Women who are new to online dating and newly single often wonder just how long they should wait to have sex with a new guy that they’re dating. It can be pretty confusing these days, especially for women who have been in a really long term relationship that has spanned a decade or more. So many things have changed in recent years that the dating rules from the last time they were single may not be the rules they want to stick to now.
On top of that, there’s a lot of conflicting information out there. It seems that the double standard that women had once been held to is going away, but in some cases it may be going away slowly. Male relationship coaches have posted articles online that more than imply that a woman who wants a serious relationship with a man should make him wait. They seem to be saying that even these days, when a guy gets into a woman’s pants relatively quickly and easily it will devalue her in his eyes. They suggest that making a man wait and prove himself, that making him wait until he’s willing to make some sort of commitment of exclusivity will make him see the lady as more of a long term possibility. Even famous matchmakers on television pound it into women’s heads that there should be no sex until there is monogamy.
In real life though, does that work? How many guys these days will stick around for months of dating if they’re not getting physical intimacy? In the real world, people usually want to move more quickly than that. There may be some men who would hold that against a lady (in spite of the fact that they were full participants too), but there are probably even more men who won’t tolerate a woman using sex as a way to manipulate. In the end, every woman needs to do what she’s comfortable with and accept whatever possible consequences there may be to whatever she chooses.
Over the last decade or so, dating has gotten significantly easier. Technology and computers have made it possible for everyone to meet people that we would never have gotten a chance to meet in real life several years ago. We can meet people on dating sites that are geographically close but who maybe don’t frequent the same places that we go, and therefore we never would have run into them anywhere. We can meet people who live in places we’d possibly be interested in moving to so we can have people to date all lined up before we even pack a box. We can meet people in places where we plan to vacation so we can easily have a little vacation fling. No matter where the people are, we can now keep in touch regularly and inexpensively. Long distance charges and huge phone bills are truly a thing of the past. With web cams, we can see each other on our computers from anywhere in the world.
Not only do we have the ability to meet people we would have never met in the past, we have a lot more sexual freedom than we have ever had before. We have greater protection against unwanted pregnancies and great protection against sexually transmitted diseases. We can be more open about our sexuality and can date either gender or both, usually without fear of losing our jobs or having our kids taken away or being blackballed out of our neighborhoods. We can date any ethnic background and no longer are forced to get married. We can have pre-marital sex without fear. We can have friends with benefits if we choose to. These days we get to set our own rules and create the lives that work with us and for us. There is a lot of freedom in being able to be true to ourselves and not having to live according to someone else’s expectations. We’re all very lucky to live in the times we are living in.