Monthly Archives: November 2011

Don’t Be Desperate

Posted on by ramerez

Sometimes when people are freshly out of a serious relationship, whether it’s a divorce or a break-up they can feel a little bit frantic with wanting to get into another relationship. They may not realize it at the time, but they are looking for some validation in the eyes of another person, and that is completely normal. Anytime a relationship doesn’t work out, it can leave people feeling some sense of failure. Once that feeling takes hold, whether we’re consciously aware of it or not, we can often look for acceptance, desire, attraction and validation by getting involved with someone else.

This isn’t necessarily a problem as people grieve in different ways. For some people, having that rebound relationship is part of the grieving process. As long as we’re as honest as they can be with the other person about where we are in life and what we’re looking for in a relationship, it probably isn’t a problem. It can be a little bit of a problem when we start behaving as though we are desperate. That is a huge turn-off to most potential partners, and it will attract exactly a type of person that we most likely do not want to be involved with.

Signs that we may be acting in a desperate manner that’s unhealthy are pretty universal and obvious. If we start feeling overly attached to someone after only a couple of dates to the point that we might be devastated if the budding relationship ends is a sure sign that we may have a problem. Trying to rush the relationship instead of letting it unfold on its own is another way to tell. Pushing for relationship-y activities far too early will push most emotionally healthy potential partners away. Acting out with behavior that is clingy or needy is not a healthy way to behave with any partner, new or not, and can be a sign that we’re not really ready to be dating yet.

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The Match Game

Posted on by ramerez

When looking for a romantic relationship that may hopefully turn into a more long term situation, it’s essential to find a good match on many different levels. Even more importantly before a potential match is found, it’s essential to figure out what a good match is, what qualities they should have, what personality type they are and what traits or interests are negotiable and how negotiable. Armed with that knowledge, it’s quite a bit easier to sense early on that a person is most likely not a good match and that can save a lot of time wasted on someone with whom a relationship would never work.

The important, non-negotiable qualities in a partner are different for everyone. Of course there are usually some standard qualities, such as being trustworthy, that are pretty common on nearly every list of attributes. But there are a lot of other individual things that are important. Some people enjoy world travel and they want a partner to travel with them, so they won’t get involved with someone who refuses to fly or isn’t interested in leaving the country. That may not be important to other people. Some people love antiquing so they need someone who will enjoy it too or who at the very least will not mind a little clutter as the collection continues to grow. Some people are very healthy and physically fit, and they want someone that will exercise with them. Strict vegans may want to avoid people who are dedicated carnivores because their lifestyles might clash.

There are many such examples of things that can be important to some people and negotiable to others. While some people may not want to make too specific of a list of criteria when looking for a romantic partner, it really is important to understand what attributes are truly important and which ones can be compromised on in order to find a person who really is a good match.

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Attracted To Opposites

Posted on by ramerez

A lot of Caucasian men seem to enjoy Asian porn and a lot of it has to do with the fact that they fantasize about being with Asian women. Let’s face it – many Asian women are incredibly beautiful. They have amazing skin that glows like warm pearls and such delicate features. They have that dark, glossy hair, often quite long, that can make nearly any man on earth think of grabbing a handful of soft, silky hair during an energetic sexual encounter. Often very petite in stature no matter how curvy they may be, men tend to feel very powerful and masculine around Asian women. Something about the size difference makes men feel the need to be protective, and for many men, that is very sexy and arousing.

Asian porn also tends to portray the women as very sexually compliant, submissive and open-minded. Many men who have been in long term relationships can find this very appealing as their women can often be too tired or overworked for sex. In many cultures, the women are not the least bit submissive and may come to the bedroom with a much more empowered and less shy attitude than that which is portrayed in Asian porn. While many men find that extremely attractive and sexually enticing, they may still want something a little different on occasion and often what they would like is something as opposite what they have on a daily basis as humanly possible. It may not be what they want all the time, but as a change, a new flavor to have once in a while, it can be very refreshing.

Sometimes it might turn a guy on to have his regular squeeze do a little bit of role playing once in a while and be quite opposite of how she usually is in the bedroom. It might give him a little thrill to feel like he’s in bed with someone else for a little bit of excitement.

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